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The Xbox One is checking out your package

 

Hey my eyes are UP HERE!
Hey my eyes are UP HERE!

Technology is awesome. We can make mathematical models that allow us to predict all sorts of useful information from our observations. Climate models are a great example of this, allowing us to step outside, appropriately dressed for what the day will bring.

Now thanks to Microsoft’s Kinect team, undoubtedly serious math has managed to extrapolate the location of your penis from the subtle effects it has on your clothing. We’re not far from a future where your tailor can simply ask you to stand in front of his Xbox, instead of just asking if Sir dresses to the left, or to the right.